Rising above the rumors

In our everyday lives, whether we’d like to admit it or not, we are defined, in most instances, by our past experiences and actions in the eyes of others. There are many other factors that go into how other people see us, but to put it simply: If we make good decisions, others will perceive us as good people. If we make bad decisions, others will perceive us as bad people. That’s how it’s supposed to work, right? But what happens when our pasts become clouded by rumors and lies? Should we as individuals be so critically judged for the situations we were never in and the social crimes we never committed?

How to deal with the false information:

• Don’t play dumb.

Acting like you don’t know a rumor is being spread may make people think what’s being said about you is true. If you know people are talking about you behind your back, acknowledge it. That’s the first step towards solving the problem.

• Keep your emotions in check.

Try not to act angry, upset, or hurt by the rumors in public. If you feel the need to discuss your feelings in private, try talking to a close friend or an adult who can help you manage your emotions. And as much as you may be tempted to, don’t fight fire with fire. If someone is spreading a rumor about you, definitely don’t start rumors about them. If you’re really being honest about yourself, and then you begin to lie about other people, you may not be seen as the honest person you once were – tarnishing your reputation and making the rumor more likely to be true.

• Stand up for yourself.

If someone asks you about the rumor, make sure you relate your side of the story and have it prevail. Brushing the rumor off and ignoring the question may make people think the rumor is true. When explaining the truth, remember to make eye contact and stand your ground both physically and morally. If the rumor is false then the person/people it’s affecting have the right to have their voices heard and accepted as the truth.

• Confront the source.

Although the idea of confronting the person/people who started the rumor may be daunting, it’s the most direct way to getting the flow of false information to stop or at least getting answers as to why the person may have started it. Of course don’t put yourself in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation. If it comes to it, talk to an adult or authority figure about the rumors that have been going on and see if there is anything they have to offer to the situation.

Rumors are damaging, inconvenient, and can alter your life in many ways. But, all in all, the most important thing to remember is to take care of yourself. How you view yourself, no matter what all of the other people are saying, is all that matters. So love yourself and respect who you are. You are an incredible, unique, special individual who deserves all the kindness people have to offer.  Believe in yourself, and people will believe in you too.