Christmas is a time for generosity. It’s a time when families can come together and give gifts that show how much they truly mean to each other. And so we, the Bellarion, have gathered for you a flavorful portfolio of Christmas gifts from Hammacher Schlemmer that will show your significant others how much you care. They may be over the top, expensive, and entirely impractical, but that’s all in the spirit of Christmas.

The first item on our list is for that special someone who just can’t get enough of their motorcycles or their helicopters. Well, for the low, low price of three hundred thousand dollars, you can buy them the Helicycle. This craft is a street legal, motorized tricycle that transforms into a fully functional helicopter in under ten minutes. It reaches a maximum speed of one hundred and twelve miles per hour, and has a twenty seven gallon gas tank that according to their website is, according to Hammacher Schlemmer, “ideal for day trips from The Hamptons to Martha’s Vineyard.”

The second item to gently graze your eyes in this glorious catalogue is none other than the Authentic 1966 Batmobile. For two hundred thousand dollars, this crime fighting vessel comes equipped with all of the necessities for fighting crime, including a bat-phone, a rotating red beacon, a bat-beam ray, and rear facing propane tank that shoots actual flames from the back of the vehicle. Wow.

Next on the list is the Motorized Monocycle, a single wheeled, fully functional vehicle that can reach speeds of up to twenty five miles per hour. The wheel operates on both pavement and grass; however, I would not recommend taking it off-road. You can bag this gift for thirteen thousand dollars. You’ll need a big bag.

For thirty two hundred dollars, you can get your favorite Sci-Fi buff a genuine, seven foot tall Robby the Robot replica, from the classic 1956 film Forbidden Planet and other notable Sci-Fi classics. Robby moves, speaks, and twirls his scanners based entirely off the original model and comes with a remote control that can activate movie quality lines he famously delivered.

Now for some extreme sport action! The Climbing Wall Treadmill is a ten foot tall motorless, gravity powered exercise machine that simulates the thrills of actual rock climbing. The wall adjusts from negative twenty to five degrees from vertical, and records distance climbed, calories burned, and time elapsed. And all for the low, realistic price of nine thousand dollars!

Have you ever wanted to take a picture with a pen? Well now you can! For one hundred and twenty four dollars and ninety five cents, you can be the proud owner of the Pen Sized Scanner! This device is equipped with a five megapixel camera and a digital voice recorder. Just record your voice or take your picture, plug the USB to your computer and transfer the files and BAM, you’re done. What a gift.

And finally, the long awaited climax of our playful romp through the Hammacher Schlemmer website, the official most ridiculous gift of 2013 is the Seven Person Tricycle. Yep. This machine is four hundred pounds of metal, red paint, and pure, raw, unadulterated fun. With a maximum speed of up to ten insane miles per hour, this extreme vehicle is made for partiers on the go. And for the low, low, definitely affordable price of twenty thousand dollars, you too can own this well-oiled, insatiable machine.

Well there you have it, the eight most ridiculous Christmas gifts of 2013. All products were found on www.hammacherschlemmer.com, and are all available for purchase. Please buy them now.